#110

Is This Destiny?

 

Don’t worry about me

Everything will turn out like it’s supposed to be

The scars may fade

So could the love we made

Made in our hearts

Made from the start

So the blood drips

As my view of us slips

I don’t want this to end

And have you be only a friend

But that’s where this is going, right?

You don’t wanna be with me so there goes my light

You’re my world, my soul, my love

And we are so far above

But what about when we crash land

None of that’s ever planned

Will you end up as only a friend?

How will you not let our love end?

 

6-5-06

 

© Anzu Ski

#109

True Love 2

 

The first time we touched

I thought we only brushed

It would lead to so much more

We didn’t know what was in store

How could we, you were with her

Now all that seems like a blur

Holding your hand and hoping you don’t break my heart

Never knowing where to go from the start

But we have something I’ve never known

And something I’ve never been shown

You opened my eyes to so much more

More than I could ever ask you for

You’ve shown me things I’ve never seen

And made me feel things I’ve only dreamed

Anything seems possible

Now that we’re unstoppable

We can last

Like none of the others in our past

We will be strong

And prove the rest of them wrong

Show then life’s never fair

But we really don’t care

We have so much, but do we deserve?

Life must have messed up and thrown us a curve

But we’ll win in the end

And no longer have to defend

No longer watching our backs and pulling knives

We’ll be happy for the rest of our lives

How can they judge what they don’t understand?

And expect us to give in to their insane demands

Who are they to determine what is right

When what we have together is hidden from their sight

We are strong together and rise above

We have what is known as true love

 

6-1-06

 

© Anzu Ski

#108

Rebel Lovers

 

A pair of lovers and little old me

Who supports them, wishing all the good that could be

I wanted him but I’d never tell

I loved them both so my hopes fell

He loved her so I didn’t try

I let my feelings for him die

But she got upset

Cuz she saw how we acted when she left

But there was nothing there

She got upset and I couldn’t bear

She broke his heart

And I was there from the start

She hurt him and he’s still not better

I can feel the pain so my blood drops down and is redder

He asked me out

And she started to shout

We’ve been together a short while now

And all I can say is wow

She hates us both for it

And people are talking and starting s***

But we don’t care

We’re out to prove that life and love aren’t fair

 

5-30-06

 

© Anzu Ski

#103

You Understand

 

Confused and waiting

Sad and so alone

I find myself sitting down with the phone

Pressing seven digits but never connecting

Wondering if I should call or let it go

Till tomorrow it is

I must wait another day

To find out if your love for her really is going to stay

Hoping and praying, even though I don’t believe

Dreaming about all that may never be

Thoughts of you cloud my head

I don’t know what to do

How can this be?

My nightmare’s come true

I’m waiting for the guy that will never show

Spilling my heart out onto there pages

No one understands what I do with a pen

Creating feelings that haven’t been felt yet

Putting down how I feel inside

Then you come along and read them

And you understand

 

You get the emotions dripping out of the pen

Spilling onto the paper so fast I can’t stop it

Holding onto my pen and letting my mind soar

You know the words are more than rhymes

They hold so much more meaning

Words are not words

They’re feelings and thoughts and blood on the page

My soul bleeds when I write down words in ink

And you understand

 

You know what I need and what to say

My pain seems bearable when you hold me

I cry tears of confusion onto your shoulder of stability

I’m falling apart in your arms, and you’re trying to fix me

Telling me it’s ok to cry

Things will be better, you promise

I couldn’t see that you needed me just as much as I did you

You were falling though the cracks in your life

Stop trying to fix everyone’s problems

You can’t fix them all, trust me, I know

You’re hurting, and I’ll try to fix it

You tried to fix me, now it’s my turn

I need to help the ones I care for

And you understand

 

No words can explain how I feel inside

And you know that and accept me for me

I can’t express feelings through speech, so I write

Scribbling feelings and thoughts onto paper

It doesn’t rhyme, so who cares, that’s not the point

I let it go on for pages and paged

The blood that flows from my soul is not red

It’s black or blue on white paper

It feels so normal and fits so well

Not a hobby or vent or activity

But an extension of me onto paper

Words become people and pages are time

Words take feelings and phrases are places

No way to describe what happens

When I write it all down, put it away or give it to you

You read it and tears start to form

And you understand

 

3-28-06

 

Read to and written for: Patrick Huntley

 

© Anzu Ski

#97

Simplicity

 

A simple call to show you care

Lets me know that this might be rare

No high hopes or fake feelings

But your true nature is revealing

You do care and want to make this work

You’re not just another jerk

Let’s hope this can last

And isn’t just something that’ll pass

Hearts intertwined and dreams interlaced

The steps we’ve taken, let’s not retrace

Hold me close and show me

That we are simply meant to be

 

1-29-06

 

© Anzu Ski

#96

Trust Me

 

Never say it’s over for good

Treat her like a real man should

Say you’re sorry no matter how much it hurts

Trust me, she feels a thousand times worse

Don’t say I love you if you don’t

Don’t say you will if you know you won’t

She loved you for who you are

Not for your stupid car

Hold her close while she cries

Tell her you’re sorry as she dies

Answer the phone when she calls

Make her feel better as her heart falls

Tell her you miss her and wish you were there

Use words to show her how much you care

Hope it lasts like she thought it would

You’d make it forever if you could

You try to be a better man for her

She’d love you no matter who you are

Just treat her right

Love her and hold her tight

Make her feel special and cared for

Because your words touch her core

 

1-28-06

 

© Anzu Ski

#94

Complexities

 

A broken heart with a new crush

That longs to kiss you and get that rush

These feelings are so complex

I’ve heard you want no more than sex

If that’s true, I’m gone, goodbye

Cuz with me, that just won’t fly

Do you like me or are you just a flirt?

Tell me the truth, I won’t get hurt

If you do, hold me close and whisper in my ear

The things my heart longs to hear

Don’t lead me on and not act

The slight touches make me react

A small touch and I melt

I long for things I’ve never felt

Respect, compassion, love and more

Maybe you can open the door

 

1-10-06

 

© Anzu Ski 

#94

Confusing New Beginnings

 

Misplaced feelings

And messed up dealings

Will this ever come to an end?

When there’s more than just friends

Odd feeling hugs and weird stares

Within my heart, there are so many tears

Can this be confusing and still work

As our eyes meet, you begin to smirk

Twisted arms and broken dreams

Not everything is a it seems

Both so afraid of being hurt again

So, can we figure out where to begin?

 

1-9-06

 

© Anzu Ski

#93

My Friend

 

They say time changes a person

And more times than not, they worsen

But time has made you only more understanding

And, to a point, even more demanding

You know what you want and how to obtain

But old friendships still remain

I still see you the same way as when we first met

And it will stay that way I bet

My best friend who hates saying goodbye

Not to mention that’s you’re a great guy

So many good times

And a few bad left behind

But, to be honest, I miss you like crazy

And lately my life’s been going insanely

I’ve been thinking a lot about the past

And how my feelings weren’t quite grasped

I loved you then and to a point, I still do

I still would lay down my life for you

But the point isn’t my feelings

It’s all the things that you’re stealing

My memories, my friends, my heart

With you, my friend, I wish to never part

A friend or more in your eyes?

Let’s not hide behind any lies

I miss you being by my side

And my feelings haven’t completely died

But life will go on, maybe

Without you in it at least as a friend, life’s ended for me

 

12-11-05

 

© Anzu Ski

#92

My Girl

 

When I close my eyes to sleep

The same faces begin to repeat

A guy from some store or was t the mall

And a girl I wish I had the nerve to call

So pretty and out of my grasp

You smell so good as you walk past

Now we’re in a room painted with palm trees

And you’re on your knees ready to please

You’re on the floor with your hair in pigtails

This is when you begin biting your nails

Rope, handcuffs and your favorite toys

Let’s tie you up and give you some joy

Hands cuffed behind your back

Let’s give that nice ass a smack

Moans of pleasure, not of pain

This state of erotica I wish we could maintain

Horny, kinky and hot

I love the way you moan when I hit that spot

Too many kisses to count

There’s a knock and the tension starts to mount

No one there, just our minds

Making out in each other’s arms to unwind

You’re not a flavor of the week

Or someone I see as cheap

We’re together and it’s for real

So he needs to shut up and deal

Or better yet, leave entirely

Wouldn’t that be f***ed up irony?

 

12-9-05

 

© Anzu Ski