#110

Is This Destiny?

 

Don’t worry about me

Everything will turn out like it’s supposed to be

The scars may fade

So could the love we made

Made in our hearts

Made from the start

So the blood drips

As my view of us slips

I don’t want this to end

And have you be only a friend

But that’s where this is going, right?

You don’t wanna be with me so there goes my light

You’re my world, my soul, my love

And we are so far above

But what about when we crash land

None of that’s ever planned

Will you end up as only a friend?

How will you not let our love end?

 

6-5-06

 

© Anzu Ski

#109

True Love 2

 

The first time we touched

I thought we only brushed

It would lead to so much more

We didn’t know what was in store

How could we, you were with her

Now all that seems like a blur

Holding your hand and hoping you don’t break my heart

Never knowing where to go from the start

But we have something I’ve never known

And something I’ve never been shown

You opened my eyes to so much more

More than I could ever ask you for

You’ve shown me things I’ve never seen

And made me feel things I’ve only dreamed

Anything seems possible

Now that we’re unstoppable

We can last

Like none of the others in our past

We will be strong

And prove the rest of them wrong

Show then life’s never fair

But we really don’t care

We have so much, but do we deserve?

Life must have messed up and thrown us a curve

But we’ll win in the end

And no longer have to defend

No longer watching our backs and pulling knives

We’ll be happy for the rest of our lives

How can they judge what they don’t understand?

And expect us to give in to their insane demands

Who are they to determine what is right

When what we have together is hidden from their sight

We are strong together and rise above

We have what is known as true love

 

6-1-06

 

© Anzu Ski

#108

Rebel Lovers

 

A pair of lovers and little old me

Who supports them, wishing all the good that could be

I wanted him but I’d never tell

I loved them both so my hopes fell

He loved her so I didn’t try

I let my feelings for him die

But she got upset

Cuz she saw how we acted when she left

But there was nothing there

She got upset and I couldn’t bear

She broke his heart

And I was there from the start

She hurt him and he’s still not better

I can feel the pain so my blood drops down and is redder

He asked me out

And she started to shout

We’ve been together a short while now

And all I can say is wow

She hates us both for it

And people are talking and starting s***

But we don’t care

We’re out to prove that life and love aren’t fair

 

5-30-06

 

© Anzu Ski

#107

Set Sail

Waiting on a dock for those who haven’t come back

Hoping to find the love we all lack

They’ve all been gone for so long

And we’ve all been trying to stay strong

The boat comes in and the men and women step down

No one gathered makes a sound

Some have come home

But many families are left standing alone

Loved ones gone never to return

Silent tears fall down, and throats burn

Hopes that were high crash to the ground

They’re gone, never to be found

Flowers are thrown into the sea

And cries of loss and anger are set free

So much sadness in one place

Tears soak mothers’, fathers’, wives’, husbands’, children’s faces

We know we have to move on without

Without the people who left on that ship but never came back out

The ship took them away but never brought them back

So we’re left standing on that dock trying to get our lives on track

 

5-29-06

 

© Anzu Ski

#106

Not Again

 

I see you pull your hand back

I try to cover my face, prepare for impact

It doesn’t do much to stop the pain

The bruises still remain

I’ve come to expect it

I know I’m going to be hit

It’s not like I can stop you

What can I do?

I mean, afterwards, I can cry

But the tears, all too soon, dry

I need something more

Like walking out the door

You can’t keep me here

I won’t live in fear

So I’m leaving, no longer doing your bidding

But I can’t leave, who am I kidding

Nowhere to go but up to my room

I’ve sealed my fate, maybe my tomb

 

5-8-06

 

© Anzu Ski 

#105

National Day of Silence

 

Repressed and hurt

Given no rights and treated like dirt

Sheltered in rainbows from your hate and fear

Kept alive by the ones we hold dear

Not allowed to marry

So many secrets some of us carry

Locked in our closets for protection

So afraid of public rejection

But today we stand up together and are strong

Trying to show you we’re being treated wrong

Showing our protect without words or violence

Just recognize our protest of silence

 

4-26-06

 

© Anzu Ski

#104

I’ve Never Been So Wrong

 

Thought you’d make me whole

Thought you’d make me complete

Thought you’d always be there

Thought you’d be holding my hand

Thought you’d be looking into my eyes

Thought you’d never break my heart

Thought you’d never lie

Thought you’d always be with me

Thought you’d never make me cry

Thought you’d hold me all night long

Thought you’d never hurt me

Thought you’d always keep your word

Thought you’d love me

Thought you’d never leave me again

Thought you’d be here

Thought you’d find me before now

Thought you’d understand

Thought you’d call

Thought you’d get your life on track

 

4-21-06

 

© Anzu Ski

#103

You Understand

 

Confused and waiting

Sad and so alone

I find myself sitting down with the phone

Pressing seven digits but never connecting

Wondering if I should call or let it go

Till tomorrow it is

I must wait another day

To find out if your love for her really is going to stay

Hoping and praying, even though I don’t believe

Dreaming about all that may never be

Thoughts of you cloud my head

I don’t know what to do

How can this be?

My nightmare’s come true

I’m waiting for the guy that will never show

Spilling my heart out onto there pages

No one understands what I do with a pen

Creating feelings that haven’t been felt yet

Putting down how I feel inside

Then you come along and read them

And you understand

 

You get the emotions dripping out of the pen

Spilling onto the paper so fast I can’t stop it

Holding onto my pen and letting my mind soar

You know the words are more than rhymes

They hold so much more meaning

Words are not words

They’re feelings and thoughts and blood on the page

My soul bleeds when I write down words in ink

And you understand

 

You know what I need and what to say

My pain seems bearable when you hold me

I cry tears of confusion onto your shoulder of stability

I’m falling apart in your arms, and you’re trying to fix me

Telling me it’s ok to cry

Things will be better, you promise

I couldn’t see that you needed me just as much as I did you

You were falling though the cracks in your life

Stop trying to fix everyone’s problems

You can’t fix them all, trust me, I know

You’re hurting, and I’ll try to fix it

You tried to fix me, now it’s my turn

I need to help the ones I care for

And you understand

 

No words can explain how I feel inside

And you know that and accept me for me

I can’t express feelings through speech, so I write

Scribbling feelings and thoughts onto paper

It doesn’t rhyme, so who cares, that’s not the point

I let it go on for pages and paged

The blood that flows from my soul is not red

It’s black or blue on white paper

It feels so normal and fits so well

Not a hobby or vent or activity

But an extension of me onto paper

Words become people and pages are time

Words take feelings and phrases are places

No way to describe what happens

When I write it all down, put it away or give it to you

You read it and tears start to form

And you understand

 

3-28-06

 

Read to and written for: Patrick Huntley

 

© Anzu Ski

#102

It All Falls Down

 

Love huts when it’s gone

And hearts ache when they’re wronged

Blood flows when it’s spilt

And trust crashed down when it’s built

Wood burns when aflame

And I cry at your name

So few letters bear so much pain

The tears begin to fell like rain

Life goes on with or without you

But right now, I don’t know what to do

 

3-26-06

 

© Anzu Ski

#101

Too Much

 

Can’t get you off my mind

And I know I’m not the kind

Too fast, no time to heal

I’m not sure my heart can deal

So hard to stay strong

When everything’s going so wrong

I just can’t cry anymore

I’m going to start crying my soul

Too much unneeded pain

And entirely too much strain

It’s all so hard, is it worth it?

I don’t know, come back in a little bit

 

3-17-06

 

© Anzu Ski